I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
