How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
