1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
