My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
