She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
