they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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