just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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