actually, I'm a sock model
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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