And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Randomize
