we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
