doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
