Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
