Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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