did you get engaged???
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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