I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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