I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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