that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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