I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
