come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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