playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
