I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we're so committed to being not committed
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
