no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
