GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
