Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
