i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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