Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
