Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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