Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
