so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
