Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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