Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
