I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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