I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
