I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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