I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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