Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
