I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
