Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
