Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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