the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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