Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
