I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
