sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
