Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
