Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
