Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
