Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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