omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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