I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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