Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
